Emily linked to
an article on Twitter this morning that I found... shameful, to say the least. From the first graf:
"The archdiocese of Denver, Colorado, is defending its decision not to re-enroll two children in a Catholic school in Boulder next year because their parents are lesbians."Like all the Tweeps said in response: what about children of parents who are divorced? Who use birth control? Who have affairs? Do they get kicked out too? It seems SO obvious to me that this is not What Jesus Would Do. If the litmus test for a Catholic school is to not only be in full communion with the Church yourself, but your parents and other family members as well, GOODBYE CATHOLIC SCHOOLS! I mean, half the kids in our parish school aren't even Catholic!
I was hanging out at a friend's house when I was in college and her housemates, who were all the types with super short haircuts and listened to Ani DiFranco (rather telling!) (though I did too!), were telling me about this great church they found. And I was super interested because 1) it was a Catholic church and 2) if THEY liked it, then I knew I would love it. I've now been attending that church for ten years.
The first couple years I went to this church, the pastor was an elderly man with a loud voice and one message: LOVE. I swear, every single homily boiled down to love. Love your family! Love your spouse! Love your neighbor! Love them BETTER! I think most homilies should boil down to this, actually, but his were always SO basic. I mean, I don't think he was especially skilled in teaching or that he was up on his history and theology, but his passion was known far and wide. That church was jam packed every Sunday, mostly with young people. There was just a THIRST. I really believe this. People wanted to love and be loved the way this priest talked about love.
Not long after I started attending I found out that this priest, and therefore my church, was the archdiocese liaison to the GLBT community in Seattle. Of course he/it was. (And it still is.)
This was a huge and powerful discovery for me, and pretty much cemented my presence. A few years earlier one of my best friends from high school had traveled across the country to come out in person. Because I was TOTALLY CLUELESS about this stuff it was a huge surprise (by which I mean: it shouldn't have been a huge surprise AT ALL), but after she told me, everything just seemed to make sense. All these things that had seemed sort of off... she made more sense. But since I had entrenched myself in the NDCF, since I'd established myself as A Blatantly Religious Person, I wasn't sure how to reconcile these two things. Quite honestly, the make-senseness of my friend coming out felt as truthful to me as my faith. (THAT made some people cringe, didn't it!)
One of my best friends in the NDCF said, after I told her that I was struggling with all of this, "Satan wants us to think sin makes sense." I still have no idea what she meant by that. I started to take notice of the words people used, their actions, their responses to items in the news. I started to get upset.
My need to MAKE SENSE drove me to some kind of "enrichment" night at my parish. Three gay-and-Catholic couples were going to speak to whoever showed up about how they lived their faith. I sat there, mesmerized, and TOTALLY CONFUSED. Because this is what I know about the church's teaching on homosexuality:
1. Being gay is not a sin.
2. Being gay is not something you learned, or that someone did to you, or something you can undo at a special reeducation camp. It is who you are. The church is cool with you.
3. If you are gay, you are called to celibacy. Good luck with that!
So you can imagine my confusion: here my church is putting on a program where gay people are talking about their lives as gay Catholics, while in GAY RELATIONSHIPS, which is, as far as I know, Not Condoned.
I am still confused about this. I am afraid to ask about it. It's also not this Overwhelming Force in my life anymore. I have more or less made my peace about the fact that this is a Very Gray Area and much smarter people than me are confused by it too. What I DO love is that my church openly, freely, enthusiastically welcomes people of all stripes and creeds, while still being Extremely and Fully Catholic. I feel certain that the pastor of my parish would be the first to object to kicking a lesbian couple's children out of the parish school. THAT IS JUST RIDICULOUS.
I fully expect someone to march in here and tell me that I've got it wrong, actually the church says THIS and if you are that person: PLEASE DO. I don't have a lot of time/energy/patience to look things up anymore. That said, I believe it is best to err on the side of love. How is it loving to kick those kids out? How is it being the light of Christ to their parents? How is it showing love to the community? And if you want to get really cynical, I'd say kicking them out of Catholic school is not a terribly great way to evangelize to the parents either. I don't have it all figured out (obvs) and I'm wary of those who claim they do (on either side), but in these situations, what is love? To expel them, or make them welcome? All have a place at the table, and granted I'm unclear on the etiquette and who sits where and who gets the coveted train plate (what? you don't fight over train plates at your house?), but if I'm going to screw up somewhere I want it to be because I don't have enough chairs, not because I left people off the invitation list.
I've just reread this, looking for the Incendiary Parts, and I'm realizing there are, like, fourteen other tangents and details and "ooh, I should probably say THAT too!" in which I'd like to expound, but I have THINGS TO DO. I'm going to be homeless in four weeks! MUST REFRESH CRAIGSLIST!