Hot By Thirty

Quick weigh in

155.5 again. Actually I'm pleased, since I was above that all week and was getting very very mopey about it. I blame my sticky treadmill. Also not feeling too hot about losing 5.5 pounds in 3 weeks, but I might be able to lose 2.5, which would put me at the nice round number of Ten Pounds Under My Pre-Pregnancy Weight.

Also, I'm wondering about you people who do Weight Watchers. Perhaps I am considering. I feel like the low carb thing has gone as far as it's going to go with me, and I've always thought WW was, let's say, more balanced. What's the focus? Portion control? Calories? Low fat? I'm scared that I don't know how to eat like a normal person anymore. I still think a generally low glycemic diet is good for me, but I'm afraid of going overboard on things I CAN eat. Know what I mean? What are your feelings/thoughts re: WW?

Sort of back on track?

155.5

Yesterday I was still two pounds over THAT so I'm going to be generous to myself and say that the Hormonal Imbalances are still haunting me, but whatever. Moving on. This week - this month - I shall PULL. IT. OUT.

I've been thinking about what it means to maintain. I catch myself thinking, "Oh, when I'm not trying to lose this weight anymore I can eat [FILL IN THE BLANK WITH DELICIOUSNESS]." I tell people, "Oh, let's go eat that AFTER my birthday!" But you know, if I really did eat all the things I tell myself I can eat after my birthday, I'll be back to 180 pounds in no time. So I am more than a little nervous.

I'm starting to think that maintaining is doing what I'm doing now, more or less, but without the daily weigh ins, without the "if I eat that I'll gain three pounds overnight", without the constant front-of-my-mind-ness of weight loss. I think maintaining will be more like: I can eat that, and it will be yummy, and if I gain a pound that's okay, because I can always lose it tomorrow. You know, like you're just going back to that level spot, instead of always striving for lower. The striving, that's what's hard.

Will I be able to keep the incentive? I didn't turn into a fitness nerd this year. I never run farther than 3 miles, I have absolutely no intention of moving up to Shred Level Three. I am content to do Just Enough. I like the idea of running a 5k one day, or turning running around the lake (2.8 miles) into a regular gig, but there will be no signing up for 10ks and half marathons for me. I do this because 1) I am thinner for it and 2) I can't prove it, but I think my brain is healthier for it too. I hope that's incentive enough. (It should be. But I am lazy. I think I've mentioned that before.)

As for eating, I hope to move towards a "low glycemic" diet. Which is basically low carb. I need to give it a different name, though, because there's so much I want to add back in. I want to learn to cook things like barley and quinoa and get some brown rice in my house to eat when Phillip's chowing down on the jasmine. I want to start eating fruit again, but fruits with low glycemic values - grapes, apples, stone fruits - rather than high - watermelon, my faaaaavorite.

This post was originally going to be just a big list of things I miss eating. But I've restrained myself. Be proud of me. Because tortellini with cream sauce is not going to be on the menu when I maintain either. SIGH SOB WEEP.

It's a bye week

There will be no weigh in post tomorrow. I was holding steady at 154 all week until yesterday when I inexplicably gained two pounds overnight. We are going to blame it on bloating, irritability and an overwhelming need for chocolate and try again next week. Okay? Okay.

In other Hot By Thirty news I have spent what feels like a fortune on restocking my empty closet, yet I still feel like I have nothing to wear. I need a haircut, but I can't decide if I want bangs or not, so I haven't made the appointment. I haven't had my brows waxed in over a year (and it's not like I've been tweezing them myself). I have ugly tan lines on my back. My hair is still falling out- handfuls every time I get out of the shower. I have four yellow-green bruises on my right thigh because I keep running into the corner of my bed. HOT.

But I've been looking through old pictures because, one month and four days from now, I am going to post a Before and an After. And not just before Jack was born, but around the time I got married, which is when I think I was at my heaviest. I'm not sure, I wasn't weighing myself, but I think I gained weight steadily through college, got married at 23, and didn't start trying to lose weight until a friend asked me to be in her wedding two years later. I think I found my before picture. I haven't found an after picture because GUESS WHAT no one takes pictures of THE MOM.

Stay tuned.

At least I'm learning something

Saturday morning before I wrote the previous post I weighed in at 155. I then ate all sorts of not-so-great things for me, and Saturday evening AFTER I wrote the previous post I went to happy hour and ate calamari and coconut prawns and downed two (TWO) cocktails appropriately named Grapefruit Nirvana. YUM.

Sunday morning I woke up at 155.

That right there, my friends, is called MOTIVATION. I was ALL ABOUT dropping another half pound by Monday. I COULD DO IT! I ate only things I KNEW were okay and I put in a great run. Great meaning: did not think about stopping the entire time. Also, if I ever write a YA novel I am going to have to thank 1) Taylor Swift and 2) my treadmill.

This morning I woke up at 155.5.

SIGH.

Maybe it took an extra day to put on the weight? But looking at my food log, I think what's more likely is: I didn't eat WELL on Saturday but I didn't eat a LOT. Yesterday, all I could think about was snacking, and even though I was snacking on cottage cheese and diet-approved cereal bars and hard boiled eggs, I ate a LOT.

I've noticed that trend in my food log since I've started it. There are some days I just tend to eat less - I'm busy, it's hot, I don't have anything in the house I feel like eating, I might have snacked but I had a salad for lunch - and those are better weight loss days.

So. NOTE TO SELF. Cottage cheese is not healthy if you eat nearly the entire container!

This post is brought to you by the letters G-U-I-L-T

I have been ROCKING this week, people. I need to send Jess a big purple bouquet or something for hinting at the writing-down-what-you-eat deal. Between that and weighing myself every day (I KNOW I KNOW THIS IS NOT HEALTHY BLAH BLAH) I can really identify what foods are okay and which ones aren't. BYE BYE PEANUT BUTTER. (And it's not like I thought peanut butter was GOOD for me, I just... sort of ate more than I realized, I think.)

I'd already dropped another pound when I weighed myself this morning. And then my DAY happened. A few bites of pastry at the meeting I went to this morning. And flinging whined-to-death self on the mercy of friends this afternoon and staying for dinner, which was a totally scrumptious eggplant panini with a scrumptiouser salad from the garden with this crazy delicious (and probably sky high in sugar) poppyseed dressing. I didn't eat a LOT, but I DID eat it and my obsession with tracking things propels me to believe this is NOT. GOOD. (Need I say I didn't exercise today?)

AAAAAND a friend of mine is having a bad weekend and needs some Happy Hour With Her Girlfriends Time so I'm about to walk over to a restaurant and partake of Happy Hour, which is probably going to involve Alcohol since: WALKING. *SIGH*

In other words: way to undo the entire week, MAGGIE.

Six to go

Hey look! A weigh in post! THESE THINGS STILL EXIST!

The two or three people who read this website (hi!) left some excellent advice on the last post and I took it all to heart. I felt more determined to REALLY TRY and also more determined to BE OKAY if I couldn't pull it out. And then I took Jess's suggestion to write down everything I eat aaaaand I am down one pound this week. 156. WOO!

Things I did differently:

1. I didn't run every day. I made myself do hateful Level 2 on the Shred video on alternating days. Except for Friday when I was visiting my parents and yesterday when I was too busy salivating over politically-incorrect jewelry (see today's post.) On those days I really watched myself on what I ate, but didn't give myself a ton of grief for not exercising.

2. I wasn't sure what writing down what I ate would DO but I know it's highly recommended so I tried it anyway. Turns out it's not just the Shame Factor, you know, having to write down that you ate ten spoonfuls of peanut butter out of the jar. It actually sort of helped me ORGANIZE what I eat. I tend to eat the same stuff every day, especially the same kinds of snacks, and writing things down helped me remember that oh, I usually eat that granola bar as an afternoon snack, if I eat it NOW I can't have it THEN.

3. For some reason I stopped eating peanut butter out of the jar. Well. Not as OFTEN.

4. I forgot to buy my favorite low carb ice cream bars at the grocery store last week.

5. On Saturday I woke up early, but I didn't have to feed anyone (my kids stayed with my parents, it was DIVINE) and I knew Phillip wouldn't want to get up for hours, so I laced up my shoes and RAN AROUND THE FREAKING LAKE. It's 2.8 miles. It was my Running Goal. I've run farther than that, though not routinely, so I knew TECHNICALLY I could do it. But it's the LAKE. Where all the RUNNERS are. Runners I've watched for TEN YEARS while thinking, "Duuuuude, there is NO WAY I am EVER doing that." But I did. I really had to push myself on the last half mile or so, and then I was fairly certain I was going to die right there in the parking lot, but I did it, in about 30 minutes, and if I hadn't lost any weight after THAT I was going to be SOMEWHAT ANNOYED.

That's it.

There are six more Mondays between now and my 30th birthday. I don't believe at ALL that I am going to lose one pound a week until then, but I think I could lose a FEW. Onwards and upwards!