Did I say I'd be posting daily? Oops.
My apologies, Hot By Thirty participants. I am just crazy tired. Is it funny that it only occurred to me now, late-ish on a Friday night, that I am crazy tired? I mean, I am allowed to be tired what with the new baby and all, but I think I had no idea. It's not that Molly keeps me up all night long, or that I'm chasing Jack around all day, or that I am working so hard- but Molly does keep me up sometimes and Jack requires a bit of chasing and yesterday I cleaned my entire kitchen and maybe things just add up. I want a morning to sleep in, I want an afternoon to not have to think about how to discipline a 17-month-old. I want my TiFaux working again. I want a fruity cocktail.
That said, I am feeling awesome about this weight loss thing. Not just awesome. WAY awesome. I haven't miraculously dropped all the pounds or anything, but I am consistently losing weight and I am doing so without obsessing about it every day all day long. Somehow I've slipped into my old low-carb eating pattern. Even better, I've been exercising. I can now finish my [low intensity] [20 minute] routine on the treadmill without stopping. I can't tell you how awesome that makes me feel. I may have been a quasi-athlete in high school, but besides walking around my neighborhood lake every once in a while, I haven't exercised SINCE high school. It appears to be having an effect on the quest for hot by thirty, but it's also making me feel GOOD. Who'da thunk!? I guess what they say is true.
There's still not a lot in my closet that fits me, but I sort of can't believe how nonchalant I feel about that. I was so unhappy after I had Jack. (Only about weight loss, I should add. I was blissfully happy - annoyingly so for other new parents! - about everything else.) It was miserable having to buy clothes two sizes larger than I'd ever worn in my life. I hated how I looked and I felt helpless to do anything about it. This time is so different. I haven't sat on my butt waiting to fit into my old jeans. I'm working on it, and feeling proud of myself in the process. It's so... UNLIKE ME.
That said, I couldn't get the speakers to work on my laptop for a while this afternoon and HELL if I was going to run on a treadmill without the benefit of Hulu.com. Thankfully I got them working and the sweat was dutifully generated.
I'll be back for sure on Monday, for the two week weigh in.
Awesome, Maggie. I know what you mean. I felt totally different after my secong pregnancy too - I didn't fit into anything right away, but I felt more in control over the whole thing. I think after my first was born, I was just waiting. Waiting for the weight to come off. Weighting for the breastfeeding magic to take effect. And agonizing over my life every Sunday when I had to find something in my closet to wear to Church....sweats fit no matter what size you are, but you can't wear those to Mass.
Then, when I finally figured it out, I got pregnant again. So I feel like, now that Jacob has been born, I just slipped right back into my routine. When I look at it from an "ultimate goal" standpoint, it's still a challenge. But when I look at the scale each week and it's a little bit lower than the week before, it feels manageable. It feels like I've accomplished something. Like I'm in control this time. And those are good feelings.
Posted by: annie | October 11, 2008 at 01:59 PM
Tired does add up. Sometimes I find myself really tired when I haven't even done anything to speak of all day, just little chores.
Posted by: Jen | October 11, 2008 at 02:21 PM