I am thinking about getting all churchy administrative again. I know. CUE THE WHINING.
So I was on what was more or less the Liturgy Committee for three years which: HILARIOUS. As even after three years on the liturgy committee I still have no idea what comes before what or why you have this color at that time or what the little box is called that the host rides around in on Holy Thursday and obviously someone made a big fat mistake nominating me for that committee. I took some excellent notes and diffused an argument here and there with my lack of strong opinions and when my three years were up I gracefully bowed out. Even though the chair asked me to stay on for another term! (I put that in there to show you that I must have SOME value for these committees, even if that value is simply "Warm Body".)
Oh, and I was also on the five-year-plan committee and that was way more my speed. I like knowing what's what. I like listening to everyone else's strong opinions. Again, however, I had nothing to offer this committee other than telling them that I would die if the mission statement required nineteen breaths to get through and oh God don't put a comma THERE. (They flat out rejected my suggestion that we ditch the mission statement altogether because, SHUDDER. Perhaps I didn't know anything about five-year-plan committees when I volunteered. VOLUNTEERED!)
In terms of ENJOYING my work on churchy committees, I preferred the nuts-and-bolts of the five year plan people to the emotional defenses of hymns and how the Palm Sunday procession went LAST year of the liturgy folks. I know that much. In terms of what I have to OFFER, the answer is: Nil. On both fronts. And in terms of what I GAINED, what I GLEANED, well, I'm not sure. A huge sense of belonging, of being known, of knowing who's who and what's what, which I got from both groups. Spiritual growth? Not so much.
Anyway. I've been asked to join two different groups this year. And again, it's not because I am anything special. It's because 1) I am a Warm Body and 2) I've done it before, therefore establishing SOME kind of interest in churchy committees, even if I ran away screaming bowed out gracefully at the end of my three-year term.
So the way my church does stuff is: you go to a "retreat" in the morning where you sit in with the current committee and "discern". I got all excited about this at first, because I love, no really, I LOVE to sit around discerning stuff. That probably makes no sense to a lot of you, but I bet it does to some, and seriously, sometimes I think that's just what I am MADE TO DO. DISCERN. It's awesome. But at MY church, and I'm not going to say ALL Catholic churches are like this, but mine sort of is, discerning is a lot of unfocused talking and sitting around and reading photocopied prayers on pastel colored paper and... eh. At the end of the retreat where I decided to join the liturgy committee, I didn't feel so much that I had discerned anything as Went With The Flow. I mean, God himself was probably camped out on the steeple begging them to direct me to the snack table, anywhere except the LITURGY committee. No one paid attention!
Anyway, in a few weeks I will go to this retreat and DISCERN whether I should join another committee and, if so, which one. I have a friend who has served on both and he described them to me thusly: "the [stewardship group] is kind of like the prom committee and the [parish council type group]just listens to Father talk and rubber stamps things." This was exactly the kind of information I wanted to know.
I'll just tell you that I'm leaning towards joining the parish council group. My reasons for this are extremely less than holy. They are: 1) that's one night a month when I get to leave the house and talk to grown ups and 2) I'm really nosy and when you're on the parish council you get to know EVERYTHING. (I know this is true because I am married to a parish council vet.)
I think this is fine. I don't think there's a wrong answer or a lot of hand wringing to do on this subject. What I DO want to think about is: these committees are not where I find God. I made the mistake of thinking that the first time I joined a group, especially the liturgy group which was full of the more overtly churchy people. I learned a lot from them and I don't regret my time serving, but it was SO not a place of spiritual growth for me. Maybe growth in leading, speaking up, conflict management skills. But I did not grow closer to God because I was on the liturgy committee.
I still don't know where I DO grow closer.
