Instead of watching the Emmys, which is something that I DO, all caps, I am headed to that prayer thing at 5:00 PST. Send some prayers my way? I am apprehensive, suspicious, eye rolly, tired, afraid, pre-disappointed, basically anything negative, I am that. For those of you who don't recommend naturopathy OR "Healing Nights" with a bunch of charismatic wackjobs for treating chronic generalized anxiety, I have an appointment TOMORROW afternoon with a brand new brain doctor at practice that came highly recommended. I am attacking this latest bout of crazy on every available front. At the very least I plan to have hope (from the prayer) and a prescription (from the brain doc) by Wednesday. But I feel like God is looking at my baseline and saying, "I have EVERY KIND OF CANDY IN THE WORLD and I have ALL OF IT and you are asking me for a stale breath mint." It just... it seems like the most I can ask for is a stale breath mint? The most reasonable thing I can ask for is a stale breath mint? But do I believe in a reasonable God? To hope for more seems costly and perilous.