Crankified

Well! That last post was a little irritable, don't you think? I'm not always that cranky, really. I am often Very Very Sweet and Wonderful. But here are some items contributing to the increasing Cranky Factor:

CRANKY FACTOR #1
My mom and dad flew back to Italy and they took my two sisters with them. This means no one is buying me lunch or clothes or any of the things scrawled on the grocery list on the refrigerator. (Love to the parents who bought me enough Costco olive oil to make ten years' worth of Italian food!) Also, I am now two short on the Extreme Shopping Bench, those being the special girls who can get me to spend $one zillion on wine glasses at Crate and Barrel and $three bazillion on those way awesome J. Crew pants with the little martinis all over them. Does anybody want to buy these for me?

CRANKY FACTOR #2
The heat! Okay, sorry to be all complainy about the most boring subject on earth, but oh. my. God. the. heat! Who was the girl who told her husband, "We don't need an air conditioner! It will be hot for, like, TODAY, and by tomorrow we will be covering everything we own with tarps." Who was that girl? Someone this abundantly stupid about the beauty and wonder that is Holy Air Conditioning should be shot.

CRANKY FACTOR #3
Today I tried on 497 bridesmaid dresses in David's Bridal, the most atrocious of Bridal Stores. This was crank-inducing for a number of reaons and don't worry, I will break them down for you:
crankyfactor 3a: While I adore the Bride and the other bridesmaid who came along, they are size Nothing and size Less Than Nothing. I am size Good Lord, Girl, What Makes You Think Your Boobs Are Going To Fit Into Any Of These Dresses?
crankyfactor 3b: Why are there no mirrors in the David's Bridal dressing rooms? Why are the only mirrors in the store on the outside of the dressing room doors? Why must David, whoever he is, humiliate us so?
crankyfactor 3c: Dear David's Bridal Saleslady with the Horrifying Sequinned Blue Flower In Your Hair: No, we do not want your help. No, we are not done with these dresses. No, we do not need strapless bras to try on strapless dresses, especially if you are going to Frown Disapprovingly when I tell you what size I need. Also, get us a room already! Jeez!

Things That Are Cheering Me Up
1. The piece of birthday cake I found in the fridge today. Woo hoo!
2. The fact that I looked half decent in two dresses. This one:

And this one:

3. That even though I agreed to go to the driving range with Phillip, he fell asleep on the couch watching American Chopper.
4. $5 J. Crew flip flops!
5. And Malia, the best shopping partner a girl could ask for, is flying in tomorrow. Get ready, Seattle Economy.