This is just to say that Monday? We are back on.
After a month or so of Hemming and Hawing over goals and focus and wanting to do things the right way but still caring mostly about what size I wear, I've decided to chuck it all and go back to what works. Which is picking a number and fixating on it. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW that is an Unhealthy Perspective and all that, but the truth is that I still have weight to lose and all this rainbow and unicorn stuff about "Running a 5k!" and "Feeling good about myself!" is just not doing it. I already feel good about myself. And the 5k thing, well, we can talk about that. (Maybe. Can I watch TV?)
And since the whole Being Vague About The Numbers thing was really starting to grate on me a while back (seriously, that's too much adding and subtracting for an English major) I'm just going to come out and say: Hello Internet, I weigh 158 pounds. I think. It's been a few days since I stepped on the scale.
My pre-pregnancy weight was 163. Stomach flu kicked me down a bit farther and I didn't gain all of it back. Stomach flu also seriously interrupted my treadmill/30DS routine, so much that I haven't even attempted the Shred since getting sick. (And am now trembling at the thought of Jillian. Although did you think she was extra super nice this week on the Biggest Loser? Like perhaps she felt like a shmuck the week before? Maybe she DOES CARE?) I've stuck a few runs in here and there, but today, for example, Molly started howling 15 minutes after I started. It doesn't always work.
Monday is the day I get going again. Monday because 1) Monday is my old weigh in day and helped keep me accountable over the weekends and 2) we're spending the weekend with my parents and that means Treats Everywhere and naptimes spent catching up on my library stack. Monday is the day I get my butt back in gear, Monday is the day I start to fixate on 150. That's 8 pounds away, and a number that I last saw in junior high. 150 is totally realistic, totally doable, totally within my power and I CAN DO IT. Monday starts a new progress sidebar on Hot By Thirty. See you then!